“A beautifully devastating memoir … A remarkable odyssey of learning to ‘live fully in the shadow of death.’” — Publishers Weekly (Editor’s Pick)
Carrying the Tiger
Tony Stewart and his wife navigate her cancer treatment with humor and grace, and after she dies, his journey through grief reveals that grief and joy can coexist.
When Lynn and I learned that she had incurable cancer, we sat together at our kitchen table—holding hands, cherishing our love, and wondering how to make the most of the time that remained. We didn’t know whether we had weeks, months or years. We just knew we had to summon our courage and take the first step.
Winner, GOLD MEDAL, Global Book Awards • GOLD MEDAL, IndieReader Discovery Awards • SILVER MEDAL, Readers’ Favorites Awards • Finalist, BEST MEMOIR, Library Journal/Indie Author Project
Carrying the Tiger is my award-winning account of the years that followed: the surprising twists and turns of Lynn’s treatment, the beauty and grace of her death beside me, and my struggle to climb out of shattering grief and accept new love. Adapted from journals that I wrote in real time to keep friends and family informed, reading it is like looking over my shoulder as we learn to navigate treacherous waters, with no idea how our choices will play out.
“A captivating story of love, devotion and care that kept me reading long past my bedtime.” — Reader review
If you're caring for someone with terminal illness, this book illuminates the road ahead. If you're navigating the aftermath of loss, it offers the comfort of shared experience. And if you're simply wondering how to keep living when everything seems lost, it shows that even in the darkest places, light can break through.
It’s for the caregiver who is powering through without realizing how much that costs. I was that person, until I broke. For the cancer patient who wants to keep living fully even as the world closes in around you. For the widow or widower who feels moments of joy returning and doesn’t know whether they are allowed. For anyone who has wondered if they are doing this wrong.
You are not, and you do not have to carry your tiger alone.
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“Your book helped me transition through the painful loss of my best friend and then my brother and his wife. I know it will touch many others in a profound way.” — Gail Dahl
“[The book] is not about disease but about care, love and very interesting observations, so that someone reading it might not fear the journey but find it miraculous, unexpected and enriching...” — Cara Hyson, Director of the Writing Center, St. George’s School
“A beautiful and very human love story which breathes an extraordinary generosity of spirit.” — David Newman, author of Talking with Doctors
“Captures emotions and experiences that will be familiar to anyone who’s stood by a loved one facing a cancer diagnosis. But here, too, are quiet moments of joy and triumph; this is a work that will strengthen all who read it.” — Khalid Dar, MD, Oncologist, Mount Sinai Morningside
Semifinalist for the 2024 Booklife Prize! “Plot/idea: 10 out of 10; originality: 10 out of 10; prose: 10 out of 10; character/execution: 10 out of 10; overall: 10.00 out of 10”
“A beautifully devastating memoir… a remarkable odyssey of learning to ‘live fully in the shadow of death.’” – Publishers Weekly (Editor’s Pick)
“A masterclass in facing life’s hardest moments with grace... will resonate with anyone who has faced serious illness or the loss of a loved one.” - IndieReader
“A remarkably attuned rendering of the author’s and his wife’s experience of receiving a life-threatening cancer diagnosis, of their search for viable treatments, and of gaining and losing Time... A beautiful and very human love story which breathes an extraordinary generosity of spirit.”
— David Newman, author of Talking with Doctors
“I'd recommend it to a friend who wants to know what the process of 'living with dying' is like, and also I'd recommend to anyone the parts after Lynn's death, in which it balances grieving and thriving — the book becomes remarkable at that point.”
— George Mancuso*, MD, Cancer Committee Chair
* name changed because his employer does not permit endorsements